Thoughts of Laurel

Gone Fishing

2011-07-13T13:25:00.002-05:00

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime."

There are many times while driving when I turn off the music, preferring the company of my own thoughts over lyrics that tell someone else’s story. Sometimes this isn’t a good thing, but often an epiphany of sorts works itself into my consciousness, giving me a clearer path into answers for my life.

On this particular trip I was on my way back from the grocery store and all kinds of thoughts were going through my head: “Where should I transplant my very shaky roots? How am I going to survive, financially? Are my kids going to be all right? Am I going to be all right? Should I switch jobs…and if so, what should I do?” I’m a creature of habit and don’t handle change well. Now every aspect of my life was up for grabs and I was grasping into air that seemed to be growing thinner by the minute.

The parable came to mind: if you want to truly help someone, don’t just give him fish, teach him how to fish so he can provide for himself in future years. I could definitely relate. I didn’t want someone to fix things for me, but I had no idea how to find the right fishing hole or how to go about beginning again. I needed to learn how to fish, to make a new start and take care of myself. “God,” I breathed, “please teach me how to fish.”

Instantaneously I heard these words: “Lori, you already know how to fish. You just have to cast your line.”

In all the weeks and months of feeling like a failure, of doubting myself and the gifts I have, I was given the reassurance that I do have a place in this world…that I do have something to offer and I can come back stronger, more confident and more able. I already have everything I need to make my life work.

It’s time to stop being afraid of the water, to believe in myself again and know that no one can ever take that away from me. I need to cast my line. It’s time to go fishing.

Planting Loveliness

2011-05-07T09:36:00.006-05:00

My bedroom window faces east. It is where I start each day, looking over the new horizon into the morning’s sunrise. I keep the blinds open so my day begins with light and warmth, and from the moment my eyes open, I feel blessed to have a new opportunity.

The other night I was standing in my front yard, just beyond that window, teetering between practicality and my heart’s yearning. It’s the first time in twenty years that spring has come without a permanent place to plant my flowers. It takes a few years to really establish a flower bed and each spring finds me searching for the first shoots of my perennials. It’s disheartening to realize that like everything else in my life at this point, I have to start over. I’ve told myself that there is no need to plant flowers this year. After all, this place is probably temporary and there’s a good chance I won’t be living here next spring.

But then I walked to the corner of the house and kneeling down, hidden under the green leaves and thorns, I saw the loveliest blooms of wild roses. I was delighted to find that just beneath that bedroom window lay a thing of beauty. I had no idea they were there. There too, beneath the brambles of the past few months, is a heart that still loves, still feels joy, still wants to build a home where loveliness lives. It's time to start planting and growing and living again. I still have the wonderful life that I've always had. It's simply a new chapter in an ever-changing story.

Idle bricks from a former tenant were stacked by the garage and they soon became my border. A trip to town reaped impatiens, marigolds and salvia. How could I not? It is a part of me, a part of my past and one I’m not willing to leave behind. And I've realized that everything is temporary, no matter how much we want to think it is ours. The secret – and the joy – isn’t in the possession; it’s making every place, every thing, every person we touch better and more beautiful because we paused beside them for awhile.

“If of thy mortal gifts that art bereft,
And from thy slender store
Two loaves alone, to thee are left;
Sell one and with the dole,
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.”

To Tell The Truth

2011-04-30T11:59:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if my blog is a lie.
Everything I’ve ever written here is absolutely true….and everything is mine: every thought, every feeling, every word.
The falsehood doesn’t come with what I’ve said, but from what has been held back.

This last year I’ve experienced more pain than I have at any other point in my life. Some parts have been devastating, leaving me angry and hurt. I’ve often felt as if I’d been picked up in a whirlwind then dropped in the middle of nowhere, stunned, bruised, lost. I didn’t share that part of my life here for several reasons: If I didn’t put the circumstances “out there”, maybe it wasn’t really true; I am somewhat a private person and sharing the hurt made me uncomfortable; the pain I felt left me like a wounded animal who simply wanted to be left alone; and….I felt like a failure.

I have another journal that takes its shape in an inexpensive composition notebook. There is something cathartic about putting pen to paper….and this is where these thoughts reside. Inside its cover there is pain and fear. There is uncharacteristic angry and there is sadness. But I’ve also noticed a recent turning of my heart. Over the months I’ve seen the strength return; a perseverance that is winning over the heartbreak because I realize every day is a gift. All of my life I’ve been able to look ahead just enough to see where it is I’m going. I’ve been fortunate that most of that path has been sunlit. I understand now there are no reassurances about tomorrow, there are no foolproof plans. It’s been difficult knowing that on this new journey, there is no map. And then I realize… there never really was.

So has this been a lie by omission? Perhaps. But the truth is this: despite it all, I’ve had a wonderful life filled with wonderful family and friends. I am blessed with love and faith and a heart that still believes in the goodness of people. There is much ahead of both sorrow and joy, but I choose to walk into the sunlight. Because for me, it’s the only choice there is.

Hope Awaits

2011-02-03T22:13:00.005-06:00

After such a long absence, it's hard to find the right words to transition my life of last summer into what I live now. But somehow this photograph, taken several years ago, seemed to fit. In it our beloved dog, G.T., looks out over the horizon into a waiting world....a world he is no longer part of. It now feels like forever ago, yet was less than a year, when we lost him; a faithful friend...the best dog I've ever had. And the world seemed less bright and certainly empty as we buried him at the edge of our property where the endless sky meets the waving prairie grasses.

I, too, am looking across the horizon and wondering what awaits me. It has truly been a year of loss, and my view these days is across an unfamiliar landscape. I put my trust in a future that will no longer be, and in someone who's decided that he doesn't really love me after all.

It took several months to get a grasp on that fact; to start lining up ducks and stop stumbling through a maze of darkness and grief. I'm not there yet - to the place I need to be - and I'm still searching for that familiar sky of blue where my heart felt peace and I knew where I belonged. It's difficult to redefine "home," but if it really is where the heart lies, then I belong many places. And in a time of uncertainty and loss, that's nice to know.

So for now I'll follow suit in the steps of a kind blue healer, look out into the beautiful, vast world and promise myself that with the approaching spring awaits new life...and new hope.

Family Matters

2010-07-31T19:51:00.012-05:00

Last summer we started a tradition. To celebrate my parents' 60th wedding anniversary, as many of my family members who could gathered at a lovely inn at Branson, MO.

We didn't go for the shows or to cruise the strip in bumper to bumper traffic. Instead we settled along Lake Taneycomo, choosing the more sedate old downtown and the new Landing to spend our time.

This year we repeated the experience, staying in the same inn and sitting in wicker chairs and rockers on the wrap-around porch. It was very hot, very humid.....but that didn't deter us from the long talks that are the staple of our family.

It was definitely a time for togetherness, but there were also moments devoted to solitude. In the coolness of the mornings, I walked along the boardwalk that ran beside the lake. The mist rose from the water like a silent genie, hovering just above its surface as ducks glided smoothly along its glassy top. Only a handful of people shared my space: joggers and fellow wanderers also seeking the refuge of the quiet morning. It was so nice to be out before both the heat of the day and the throngs of people who inevitably come to share such a beautiful place. Leaning over the railing and watching the day begin was captivating: the definition of peace.....the porthole for contentment.

And the days were filled with their charm, too. My sister drummed up a group of us and brought in so much business to the local dollar store that the clerk rewarded us with free hats!
We perused the local shops, bought trinkets to take back home and ate a LOT of food!

One afternoon we loaded up and headed to Table Rock Lake to spend a few hours at my cousin's house. He took us on a grand tour of the lake with my brother-in-law as co-pilot, my brother and I at the stern and my parents tucked comfortably behind the driver's seat.

Twenty of us took seats on the boat dock, in lounge chairs on the back deck or inside the house to talk about the days of the past and what lies ahead. One niece brought a friend while another inducted her fiancee to our extended family vacation. That's one of the many things I love about us: everyone is welcome.....everyone belongs.

Many people don't understand how our family gets along and why we so enjoy being together.

To me it's simple. We truly love each other.

We are individuals, part of one whole; intertwined with history and a genuine like for one another. I would pick them to be with even if we weren't related. We are connected, not just through blood but through ideas and thoughts, likes and friendship. They are the thread of my very existence, woven into who I am and where I come from.
It's a lovely tradition, this getting together. And no matter where we are, whether home or on the road, we are family. I wouldn't change that for the world.

A 21st

2010-07-27T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today my daughter turns 21. Twenty-one. How did the years pass so swiftly?

It surely wasn't that long ago when I held her, as a new baby, in my arms for the first time. Yet here is proof in the beautiful young woman who stands before me.

Gone are the days of picture-making as she sits at her little school desk, pen gripped firmly in her left hand. Disney tunes no longer resonate from her room as she twirls in her pretty sundresses and sings along. Barbies are tucked away in plastic containers and fluffy stuffed animals gather dust from inattention.

It is as it should be. Another autumn is around the corner and a college dorm awaits. I'm excited for her as she begins yet another part of her journey. But I'll miss her...

For now, on this July day, I'll pretend she's mine forever as I tuck the memories close to my heart and savor each moment we share.
Twenty-one. Indeed, they've passed so quickly.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful girl. I Love You!

Sunrise, Sunset...

2010-07-13T10:33:00.008-05:00

This was the sky that greeted me yesterday morning. I was lying in bed, just before my alarm went off, and woke suddenly to see a orange glow outside my bedroom window. Since the sun and I get ready for the day at the same time, I had to snap this quickly before I headed for the shower.

By evening, the calm of the day turned stormy as clouds built to the north and south of us. Still, their beauty was magnificent, and these were the images left to me at the end of the day.

Though the only thing we got from the storms was distant thunder and lightning, they left behind calling cards that punctuated perfectly this golden July day.

Aftermath of a storm

2010-06-24T22:00:00.003-05:00

The storm that hit last night was over by the time we got home. The heavy rains and wind quickly swept across the prairie and though we could see it in the distance, we never caught up to its fury.

The sun was just setting by the time we reached home and I was able to catch the band of clouds at the back of the storm. It was hard not to be mesmerized by the contrast of the serene sky and the puffs of stormy white.

After the sun had gone down it left a beautiful orange glow that was both eerie and beautiful. It swooped down into our yard like a loose canopy, suspended there in golden silence.

I took one last picture from the back door, loving all the elements at play: the bright blue sky, vibrant pink clouds with a scattering of smaller ones at the forefront and the gray storm beneath.

In their wake they brought refreshing cool air and left a lasting loveliness I'll not soon forget...

The Story remains...and continues.

2010-06-22T23:18:00.006-05:00

This afternoon the kids and I went to see "Toy Story III." I knew I was in trouble when I got choked up 5 minutes into the movie.

Maybe it was the fact that the two people sitting beside me, also sat beside me in 1995 as we watched the movie that started it all. Except then they were 3 and 6 and the days of graduation and college were something in the distant future. How was I supposed to know that time would pass so quickly? The sweet, tender ending found me fighting to hold back sobs as I contemplated the fast-approaching day when I step into my own home of empty bedrooms and find remnants of the children they used to be.

When we first talked of going to the theater, my daughter went through the old toy box and found their original Woody and Buzz. Their simple design were no match for the 'new and improved' versions that now line the store shelves in fancy boxes and packaging. And yet, like the characters in Pixar's brilliant movie, these toys were also once well-loved. And then it was only a matter of time before they too, were shelved as the children of yesterday put away their play things and stepped into tomorrow.
I think the things in life that touch us the most are those things that reflect our own feelings and experiences. Whether that is watching a movie, listening to music, or sharing a conversation. Connecting with where we've been and where we're going is sometimes difficult or even hurtful, but it also lets us know there's still hope and love and courage to go on.

Who'd have known that two fictional characters could ignite such profound emotion? Growing up, moving on, looking forward. Those are changing things, and even though that change can be - and usually is - good, it can take some readjusting.

For awhile the cowboy and man from "infinity and beyond" will hang out around the house as we reminisce about those days of long ago. Then once again they'll find their way back to yesterday, living on in the memories of playful days in little hands and voices. I'm sure I'll join them there from time to time; remembering, too, how it used to be, yet looking forward to what's yet to come.

Starting again

2010-06-21T23:34:00.005-05:00

These past few months I've been on a journey. It's been a chapter in the making for some time now; trying to find a balance in my days as I transition from one place to another.

There have been all kinds of things to write about, but I could never seem to formulate or articulate any of my thoughts. I stared at a blank screen more than once, willing words to come, but just as that watched pot never boils, pressure to produce seemed to bring about just the opposite.

Though my words were stilled, my heart was not. I have felt intense emotions these last few weeks: some good...some not so good. But the fact that I feel something gives me hope that the words will eventually come.

So if you're still there, know that I'm still here.
It's time to begin once again.

Bring on Spring

2010-03-13T18:11:00.000-06:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a sunset girl. Though I've seen a many spectacular sunrises, it is dusk's display that always captures my attention.

It's been a long, cold winter and many of us are struggling to reconcile our bodies with the grayness that has seemed to encapsulate us these last few months. Sunshine has been rare and spring can't come soon enough.

A few nights ago, even though there were more clouds than sun, I noticed how the light was reflecting off the side of our house. It almost looked like a painting and I hurried to capture the texture it created.

Though winter has its own loveliness, I'm tired of the show.

The calendar says spring is a week away and with his forecast of sunshine this week, the weatherman concurs.

I hope they're right. I'm ready to have my life - and my sunsets - back.

Best Laid Plans

2010-02-20T09:34:00.001-06:00

This is Bill. We work together every Sunday in a wonderful environment that gives us the opportunity to help others. Over the last nine months I've gotten to know Bill pretty well and look forward to the days we spend together. He has shared many stories of his life and is in the process of writing down his journey, beginning with his earliest recollections of life on a small Kansas farm.

Last week we talked a lot about writing. Though we both enjoy it and have the best of intentions, the words of our minds and hearts so often get put on a dusty shelf for another time. Other things seem to step inside the limits of our creative boundaries, taking their place. Sometimes it's the necessaries of life....but more often it's insignificant distractions that steal moments from things that need to be said.

We don't have tomorrow. Only today. Time to put aside the excuses and get down to business. Even if "business" is simply the things we love to do.

A New Year

2010-01-18T22:13:00.003-06:00

Even though I don't officially make resolutions, I always wish - off the record - for things I'd like the New Year to hold. But wishes only go as far as your motivation and desire. You have to work towards dreams and guard them with a fierce protection to ensure both their safety and success in coming true.

So here's to 2010: a new year, a new decade and a new opportunity for resolutions....no matter what name - or form - they take.

"If I Only Had A Brain"

2009-11-16T10:32:00.003-06:00

An excerpt from the show....see more about it in the post below!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2009-11-16T09:39:00.009-06:00

It's been nearly two months since I've written here; not because there was nothing to write, but because there was so much to be done. These photos tell the story of why I've been absent for the past few weeks.

My son, the scarecrow in our production of "The Wizard of Oz", performed for the last time on Saturday night and I wanted to be there for the journey. That included making several costumes, building sets and gathering props. Though it was a long and exhausting process, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

In our very small school, theatre is far down on the list of priorities so in order for it to be successful, it takes outside help to make things work. Along with a wonderful director and pianist, a handful of parents stepped in to transform 14 kids into magical creatures from a land somewhere over the rainbow.

A few students, including Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, had to play more than one role. Though it proved to be challenging it also showcased their talents and gave them more opportunities to perform. The efforts and success of these dedicated kids shows that it is the quality that goes into a show, not the quantity. It also proves that with encouragement from others, the right tail wind and a belief in their own wings, they can indeed fly.

Embrace the moment!

2009-09-18T22:06:00.002-05:00

This is a picture I love. It was taken by one of my daughter's friends while they walked down the road leading away from our house. There is something unbridled and unrehearsed when young people take the camera, and it's reflected in moments like these. Moments when joy comes naturally from time spent together; when you look down the road and see so much ahead. When the world is embraced with energy and hope and plans for the future. When you love everything about your life.

"Oh, who will walk a mile with me...along life's merry way?"
This is a picture I love...

Sky Watch - Morning Windmill

2009-08-26T22:43:00.004-05:00

This was the sky that greeted me a couple of mornings ago as I headed off to work. With the windmill and cattle silhouetted by the dawn, it was easy to start the day with a song in my heart.

"Oh what a beautiful morning...
Oh what a beautiful day...
I've got a beautiful feeling...
Everything's goin' my way..."

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Skywatch - Gold on Blue

2009-08-13T08:42:00.009-05:00

There are many things of beauty in this world: the great works of art, the masterpieces of architecture and literature...visual concepts and words that touch our soul. But there is nothing so lovely as the the magnificence of nature and those things that no man - no matter how talented - can capture.

A sunflower field is always a beautiful sight, but especially in the morning. Though dusk adds a golden glow and a feeling of peace, the sun in its beginning enhances the brilliance of their golden palette. Add a canvas of blue and you have a true work of art.

The Master's handiwork, at its best.

Tune into Skywatch for more beautiful photos from around our world.

Son Flower

2009-08-10T08:51:00.006-05:00

It's Sunflower time again. With the brilliant golden blooms that dot the Kansas prairie brings the dawn of my son's senior year....and I'm not ready.

You tell yourself that this time is coming. While he rides his stick horse around the living room, helps you with brownie-baking and creepy-crawler-making and lies beside you on a blanket of green grass with a storybook in one hand and a cookie in the other, you tell yourself that these times don't last. But with the busyness of everyday life and the endless days of childhood sweetness, you don't really believe it.

Then before you know it, he's taller than you with a deep voice and in a circle where you're no longer the center. It's where you want him to be, where you raised him to be and you encourage him to fly, while clipping your own wings just a bit so you're not tempted to follow behind.

He is a unique individual, my son; strong in who he is and marching confidently to the rhythm that he hears, knowing that I love him unconditionally. While his friends gear up for a year filled with football and fun, he looks beyond that to what's over the horizon and the possibilities that lie past the boundaries of our little town. And while I feel melancholy at the prospect of him growing up, I'm excited for the paths he has before him. I know he carries the tools to build a joyful life and will use them well in his journey.

So as this last school year approaches and an era comes to an end, embrace your life, son. Enjoy who you are and what this world has to offer. Leave each day a little better than its dawning possibilities. Be strong and go forward with a song - and a Kansas Sunflower - in your heart, knowing I love you.....and that I always will.

SkyWatch - Thistles

2009-06-04T17:24:00.006-05:00

I can't resist taking photos of thistles everytime I pass them by. There is something beautiful and intriguing in the brilliant fuchsia blooms, even though their thorny leaves are a menace to the farmers.

Enjoy SkyWatch each week with beautiful photos from around the world.

Beautiful Weeds

2009-05-22T17:20:00.014-05:00

Beauty is all around me on the path that leads to home. It is unpaved and set deep with ruts that make it near impossible to travel by car. That's why I like it. The chances of running into another person are remote and thus, I have the whole place to myself.

There are no roses that line this weed-infested path; no flowering vines that wind enchantingly around the whispering cottonwoods. Here are the overlooked beauties of the roadside: the noxious thistle, foxtail, field bindweed, common yarrow and many others whose names escape me.

In the bright Kansas sun they could be easily missed. Their presence is ordinary and to most, unwelcome. They invade field and pasture like an uninvited guest who camps haphazardly wherever they feel at home. At first glance they are hardly impressive and plain, at best.

But kneel down and take another look. Intrusive, perhaps. Common, most certainly. But one cannot question their beauty against the cobalt of a bright May sky.

Look again. Life is comprised of much more than just roses. Consider the thistle. It holds a magic - and loveliness - of its own.

The beauty of today.....and yesterday

2009-05-12T10:01:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I took some students outside to write. It was a picture-perfect spring day; blue skies and sunshine. Very conducive for writing. To encourage self-expression and so I don't 'hover', I write along with them. On this particular day we sat at different places on the playground, and my thoughts led me here...

For some reason this weather makes me miss Salina and my mind returns there.

I miss my old back yard, the glider on the deck, the flowers I planted: larkspur, lantana, iris, lobelia, daisies and marigolds, yarrow, dianthus and my butterfly bush. I miss my little corner - the creeping phlox and low-growing evergreens in the front yard...the porch swing where I sat and read and watched the rain fall. I miss seeing neighbors working in their yards, calling across the fence and sharing tips about flowers...advice about life. I miss riding my bicycle down the path by the airport and the pizza plant where the smell of dough and spices permeated the air. I miss the neighborhood children I've known since they were little; their laughter ringing from the backyard, the sound of screen doors as they ran in and out. I miss the old grade school and familiar faces in familiar hallways. I miss my job at the university with close connections and diverse people. I miss the lack of gossip and the positive feeling of support - of help from friends, but also space to reside in one's own place without interference or judgement.

But of course I know, if I went back now it would all have changed. A new family lives in what once was home. The trees have grown, the flowers are gone and what once was familiar no longer remains. Front porch melodies are silent where the swing once hung. Neighbors have moved, some passing to another life. Children have grown and left for college, and the lovely little school has grown into a building with new walls, rules, and faces. Co-workers from my days have moved on to new locations and vocations. Time stands still for no man....and I am hardly an exception.

But for today, I'm dreaming of the past. My heart is a hundred miles away, in another place and time, when the spokes of my life's wheel were in perfect alignment and turned my world with exactly what I needed.

Glory in a Sunset

2009-04-22T21:36:00.009-05:00

The sunset tonight was amazing. I sat in the grass in our backyard, hidden away from the rest of the world and watched as the sun descended silently below the horizon.

I knew, from looking at the bank of clouds in the west earlier that evening, we would have a beautiful sunset tonight. And I wasn't disappointed.

To many more glorious sunsets...and sunrises. Happy Earth Day!

Prom 2009

2009-04-19T16:05:00.014-05:00

Another prom has come and gone. My son, a junior, enjoyed the festivities for the first time with his beautiful date - a girl whom we love - and my daughter came back to accompany a friend whom we also hold very close to our family. His lovely and dear twin sister and her date joined in as well.
The preparations were many, including these five foot cards I drew for the backdrop. Several kids helped me paint them; a task I could never have completed by myself in those last two days.

As dates arrived, hairstyles were sprayed and finery completed, the photos began:

Then it was time for a walk down the "red carpet" and photos in the limo...

These years have flown by and that little boy and girl of times past have grown up so quickly. I know my time of holding them close in this way is growing fewer, and though their future prospects invite wonderful anticipation, I can't help but be a bit melancholy for those days when time stretched endlessly and gloriously before us.

To my beautiful daughter and handsome son, I'm proud of you in so many ways and for so many reasons. May the doors continue to open up for you as you walk through this life, and may the love you hold on this special day continue to embrace you in the road that lies ahead.

Cow Patty

2009-04-10T22:51:00.007-05:00

These are my closest neighbors; a group of Angus cattle who live across the road from us. A storm was trying to blow our way as I crossed the ditch and looked over the barbed wire, though it never quite materialized. The cattle, used to these spring tirades, lumbered slowly towards me. I'm sure they expected hay and feed instead of a lens pointed at them.

Some were gentle-faced, their eyes knowing and patient while others, like the big black bull, glared with defiance: daring me to come closer...yet warning me not to.

It's funny that even though cattle are as commonplace as dandelions, I still find delight in capturing these images. There is fun to be found in the shot; the story we tell in the frame that we take.

I think my favorite of the day was the "kissing cow". She really did look like she was sharing a tender moment with the bull. But then, what is it they say? "Spring is a time when a young man's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of love...!"

Sky Watch - Stormy March

2009-03-24T22:45:00.020-05:00

Two nights ago we had a big storm pass overhead. The worst of it skirted to our NE, though a rotating cloud passed just outside our backyard.

These were taken in the aftermath, looking to the east where the angry wrath looked beautiful from a distance.

As always the sunshine returns with the promise of clear skies on tomorrow's horizon...

View more beautiful skies at Skywatch.

Sky Watch - Man's Best Friend

2009-03-12T00:01:00.001-05:00

It's almost spring...and he knows it.
As soon as we step outside and he gets a whiff of my sneakers, he begins whining. I call his name and look him in the eye as his ears perk up, his dog smile frozen as he studies my face.

"Walkies?" I ask him. Immediately he jumps up, then runs around in anticipation. He has looked forward to this all winter: time to get back moving and journey down the dirt road with his people.

We don't go far, just up to the bridge a half mile away. The traffic is loud and busy so we don't linger. We like the solitude and the quietness that awaits in our backyard.

The cats all greet him as if he were back from an exotic getaway, and he acknowledges them with nonchalance; secure in the fact that he is indeed, man's best friend.

It's almost spring. We all are ready...

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The Dinosaur Lives!

2009-03-08T21:37:00.006-05:00

Friday I was working outside, clearing up brush in the trench when I came across this little critter.

The horned-lizard or horny toad is such a peculiar creature. We don't see them often as they're hard to pick out in the grass. When I saw this one scrambling up the bank I snatched him up then called to my son to bring me my camera.

I shot with one hand while I held him with the other, and I have to admit I was a little glad I was wearing gloves! It was pretty bright outside so I wasn't sure what kind of photographs I was going to have when I checked them later.

I always tease my family that I don't believe in dinosaurs because, well...they just don't fit in with my time line of events! But seeing these interesting little creatures, it's easy to see that they're a miniature version of their giant ancestors.

Thankfully, nothing of that magnitude shared the trench with me on this day of outdoors cleaning!

Sky Watch Friday - Spring is Coming

2009-03-05T17:04:00.008-06:00

The sky never fails to amaze me. You can look in one direction on a dozen different nights and be treated to a dozen different views.

I had fun watching the big fluffy cloud on the left as it floated over me. There was no threat on this beautiful evening. Just the promise of a spring-like day on the other side...

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"For You" - Remembering John

2009-03-04T15:25:00.001-06:00

He first came into my life in the early 70's; a shaggy-haired, wire-rimmed man whose eyes sparkled and smile lit up the room. He was a part of my early adolescence with the songs that touched many hearts, and I sang along with both the notes of his melodies and his life.

Twenty years later he came to my hometown. I went to his concert with my neighbor and heard this song for the very first time. He was alone on the stage with just his piano, and you could have heard a pin drop in the hush that fell over the audience. I remember turning to my friend after he had finished and saying, "That is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard." I still think so to this day. It's how I've always seen true love, and how I hoped it would be.

In memory of John Denver; a lovely spirit that left us too soon.... "For You".

Intriguing Rainbow

2009-03-01T21:02:00.009-06:00

It started out as a beautiful rainbow in the eastern sky. A storm was skirting all around us, spilling a few raindrops on the ground yet allowing the sun to display a double rainbow that stretched all the way across the sky.

It looked as if the cars on the highway could run right into the pot of gold - the prismatic rays appeared so close - and there almost seemed to be a glow arising from the first and brightest rainbow.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't get far enough back to capture the whole image in my lens so settled for watching it "first person" as it spread its finery against the gray clouds.

I shot from different places in the yard as the clouds continued to billow up and around the rainbows like a genie escaping from his bottle.

The buttery rays of evening turned the wild prairie grasses into a golden blanket from a technicolor dream and I zoomed in for a closer look.

The rainbow's colors intensified from a pastel palette to a richer tone, and it was dazzling in the making.

But then the smokey clouds began to gather and surround the colors in a contrast of charcoal fog. Though still beautiful, it was somewhat eery.

We escaped the storms that night, but it was an early reminder of what a spring in Kansas can hold.

2009-02-23T23:01:00.007-06:00

When words fail, post a kitty!

Musings

2009-02-12T22:47:00.006-06:00

It's been awhile since I've written. And I'm not really sure what's holding me back...

Nearly four years ago I carved out this spot for my thoughts, never knowing that it would become a place of safe-keeping for my memories; a guardian of my most precious moments, reflections and joys. It has become a part of me and lately, I have missed that.

Life has its share of ebbs and flows. The tide comes in bringing promise and hope; a new day, a new start. And it goes out, taking the familiar, old dreams and "what might have been." A long time ago I read a quote that said, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans."

Indeed.

Life never happens the way we intend. Sometimes it surprises us with obstacles and we lose our footing as we waver on the footbridge of our days. And other times we look out a seemingly bland window and are greeted by a magnificent sky.

It's time to walk out to the waves, wet my feet...and jump in.
Life marches on. And I want to be part of the band.

And so it goes...

2009-01-26T22:49:00.004-06:00

Before they even met, there was a connection. Dad's co-workers in the warehouse where he'd worked before the army got together to write him letters from home. Mom, being the new girl, was asked if she'd like to add a note, which she did.

When he returned home in 1947, they noticed one another, but from a distance. Daddy began riding his motorcycle to work, and Mother, loving the feeling of freedom and flight was charmed by the two-wheeled cycle. He promised her a ride as soon as he got his buddy seat and it wasn't long before it was a ride built for two: a match meant to be. It may not have been love at first sight....but it was certainly love.

Dad decided to go to Kansas City to an automotive trade school in January of 1948. Most weekends he would return home to visit Mom and their relationship continued to grow. It would be September before he returned to Wichita for good, but in July of that year, he went to Peacock Jewelry Store on Douglas Street and in my Mother's basement apartment, gave her a ring.

There was no bended knee, as he explained, and no formal question posed, but it was understood between them that this was the road they were intended to take; a road that has led them through 60 years of blessings.

On that New Year's Day back in 1949, they took vows that began the rest of their lives, and set the stage for what was the beginning of mine....

Introducing....... my dad

2009-01-23T20:00:00.001-06:00

In 1945 after my parents graduated from high school, Mother said good-bye to her family in Fredonia, KS and left to make her own way in Wichita. At the same time, my father was drafted into the Army and left his home in Wichita to fulfill his duties on the Aleutian Islands of Alaska. In these photos he is on the right; his face - even as a young man - so familiar to me, his smile reflected in my own young son's face.

There in Alaska along the shoreline, he and his buddy found an old boat and seeing an island in the distance, decided to row out to it. Using an old board for an oar they began their journey, but after some time discovered that the island was a lot further out than they'd originally thought. Anxious to get back to base, they turned the boat only to discover the tide had turned as well. Rowing frantically they were finally able to make it back to shore safely and unseen. Later that night word got around that the Coast Guard had been alerted to two men adrift on the sea....and he was asked, had he seen any sign of them while he was down on the shore?!

Daddy came home a year later and went back to his job at McKesson's. My mother still remembers hearing his voice as he came into the office where she worked, and he remembers seeing her in the back room running the mimeograph machine.

That was their beginning....

Discoveries in Black and White

2009-01-18T21:20:00.004-06:00

I spent this weekend at my parents' house, catching up on memories, hearing new stories and making time to just be. I always feel a reconnect when I go home and that's something I've been needing for some time now.

After my mom and dad had gone to bed, I sat on the old-fashioned high bed, perusing through old photographs. Many I had seen before: precious pictures of my parents in their younger, carefree days alive in black and white and smiling at me from behind another era.

There is something about these two that caught my attention. Perhaps it is the sweetness in my mother's face or the youth behind her smile. Maybe it's the charm of the late 1940's; the grace and style of a bygone era. Or it could simply be that this is my mother - a woman I admire, respect, adore... and that I love seeing her in younger days with a lifetime still before her.

As I sort through these photographs of my parents' beginning, I know I'll find wonder and magic between the lines that are the writing of our family.

I am looking forward to reading more.

Remember When

2009-01-03T21:05:00.005-06:00

On New Year's Day, we celebrated my mom and dad's 60th wedding anniversary. We gathered at my sister's house where she had put together a video representing their years together. While viewing it the first time, I used my camera to tape it directly off of the television. I didn't have a tripod and had to zoom in close, so it was pretty shaky. But it was also difficult to hold the camera still due to the emotion and tears while watching my parents - and our family - grow through the years.

We are so fortunate, all of us. I thank God for the blessing of my parents; for their meeting and their marriage all those years ago and for what we have - and have become - through the passing of time.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. I'm so glad to be part of it all.

The Way He Was

2009-01-02T17:11:00.000-06:00

My son has always been happy-go-lucky; a boy with a perpetual grin and sunshine in his pockets. When he was little it was easy to dispel his temporary sadness with a hug and kiss, and to chase away any shadows that threatened to shroud his sunny world.

It's been said that high school is the best time in a young person's life....but I beg to differ. It's a trying time when you're straddling the world of childhood and adulthood, teetering on a thin line of who you are and who you want to be. It's days of mixed feelings and looking at the future while trying to decide which path to take. And while hugs and kind words are helpful, they no longer "fix" the sorrow and the questions in a now, young man's heart.

I miss the way he was. Though I know that everything is temporary, I'm looking forward to the day when the skies clear and there's light in his heart once again.

Farewell 2008

2008-12-31T22:33:00.010-06:00

It was our last sunset of the year. We saw it as we drove the back roads just south of home; God's brush dipped from a warm palette and spread across a watercolor sky.

It was a good year, 2008. And it was a challenging year. We celebrated many joys and we faced some trials. But when push came to shove, we emerged through it all and are thankful to be healthy and whole.

New Year's Eve has always been a time of melancholy for me. When my sister and I were teenagers we would watch Dick Clark in New York City and ponder all of the things that would 'never be' again. I would always wonder - with more trepidation than excitement - what the new year ahead would hold. I've never anticipated or welcomed change. Perhaps, coming from a people and a place that has always been safe and loving, I never wanted that comfort to end. Looking ahead into the dawn of a new year, I could never be sure that my wonderful little world would remain as it was.

But here we are; on the cusp of 2009....and those feelings still remain. Maybe, no matter how old one gets, the need for the familiar never changes. Or at least, it's that way for me.

Tonight, as the sunset faded into darkness, the stars came out in a clear and brilliant display. One could see for miles, and our little house tucked way back on country roads suddenly seemed in the midst of lights from every neighboring farm and nearby town. Everything was brighter in the crisp, pre-New Year night, and it was difficult to see anything but optimism and hope in its beauty.

May your 2009 be joyous and whole and may your blessings be many in the new year ahead!Click here to enjoy more SkyWatch.

A Well for Wishing

2008-12-30T00:18:00.000-06:00

It was just after noon when we settled down for our daily chapter of Little House on the Prairie; little girls with pixie faces on either side of me, arms intertwined with mine and bright eyes studying my face as I read.

The Ingalls family, too, had just settled on the Kansas prairie, building a log cabin and stretching their wagon’s billowy canvas across the top for a temporary roof. Ma wished for a clothesline, Pa for a well.

“Do you girls know what a well is?” I asked.
“Oh yes!” came a ready reply. “It’s something that you throw money into to make a wish.”

“Well, yes,” I nodded. “People do that sometimes. But do you know what’s at the bottom of the well?”

An eager hand shot up on the other side of me as she smiled widely, “Wishes!”

Happy Birthday!

2008-12-29T16:40:00.005-06:00

My husband's birthday comes on the heels of Christmas. While we are finishing up the leftovers, picking tree needles off the carpet and contemplating taking down all the decorations, he is celebrating another year of life. Those whose birthdays fall in the aftermath of Christmas cheer tend to get overlooked as their special day slips in among the holidays.

So today a post, in honor of his birthday. To my James on his 48th....I Love You!

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

What Makes a Mother Happy

2008-12-29T15:44:00.002-06:00

I'm always after my kids for a picture. They can tell you themselves how many times I've said, "You guys! Quit goofing around and be serious so I can have a nice picture of you together!"

For Christmas they had a friend take not one, but several "nice pictures together." And at the same time, they threw in a couple of silly ones for good measure, because of course...that's who they are.

And honestly......
I wouldn't have it any other way.

In Favor of the Kitties

2008-12-28T14:01:00.002-06:00

In all the flurry of Christmas activity and searching for the perfect presents, we sometimes forget that the most basic joys of everyday life not only suffice but often exceed that very goal.

A little boy is surrounded by trucks and puzzles, fancy wrappings and pretty much anything he could possibly desire from the toy store. But what he found the most delight in, what brought the most smiles and squeals of excitement were our furry little kittens. There were so many moments I could have captured with the camera, but instead I watched as he laid his cheek against their soft heads and carried them around, usually two at a time.

In the New Year ahead, remember the joys in your own backyard and learn to find contentment there. Realize that you aren't "settling" for less than what you deserve but rather, truly appreciating the treasures that you already have.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T00:01:00.000-06:00

Wishing you a very joyous and blessed Christmas!

Snowman

2008-12-24T09:06:00.002-06:00

When I was in kindergarten in 1967, my teacher, Mrs. Bartel, gave us each a Christmas ornament. It was nothing fancy: a small felt snowman cut with pinking shears and stitched with love. For years he hung on our family Christmas tree - the first ornament I had that was exclusively mine.

Every year I get him out along with all of the lovely things I have collected over the years. His smile is faded now through all the handling of the past forty-one years. But he is a sweet reminder of a simpler time, when a kindergarten teacher could still kiss you on the cheek each day, and a child could marvel in a handmade gift of felt and love.

Capturing the Cardinal

2008-12-22T00:12:00.004-06:00

A couple of weeks ago I was walking down to our commons area to take a picture of one of my students for a class project. Our maintenance man called me over to the window where this little female cardinal was resting on the sidewalk, just outside the door. Under any other circumstances I wouldn't have had my camera with me, so felt fortunate to capture these photographs. She must have been enjoying the sunshine because she didn't stir at all.

Calico Encouragement

2008-12-20T20:52:00.005-06:00

This afternoon I went downstairs to work on costumes for a friend who is directing the nativity play at her church.

Our new little kitty watched me as I disappeared below, and waited patiently for an invitation. I carried her down and let her play in new territory as she discovered the Christmas tree, climbed on the couch and played with the toys she found.

A social little creature, she soon learned that I had turned my attention to the sewing machine and she wasn't getting the attention she loves.

Jumping first into my lap, she crept up my arm and onto my shoulder where she watched me work. She was quite content to listen to the hum of the machine and watch the needle work its magic on the fabric. After awhile I called upstairs to my husband to come take a photo before she became bored and hopped down.

I did finish the costumes, and though there is no mention of a kitty cat in the nativity scene, I wouldn't be surprised if a hair or two of calico made an appearance on a shepherd's robe tomorrow night!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

2008-12-16T23:22:00.005-06:00

For me, Christmas isn't the day so much as all of the events leading up to the 25th. It's the magic of the Christmas tree, making gifts for family and friends, holiday baking and gathering with those we love to share happy moments that will last forever.

There is more to come in the days ahead as we both work and play to make this year special. But for tonight, this is a glimpse of Christmas so far....

Meant To Meet

2008-12-12T15:30:00.000-06:00

There are people that come into our lives and it's obvious that we are meant to meet. In our case, it wasn't just one person but a family; four very special people whom I believe were placed directly in our path.

When we moved here seven years ago we came into an unknown. Though my husband had grown up in this community, the rest of us stumbled in our acquaintances and felt lost for friendships.

My son was just entering the fourth grade and had a set of twins in his class, a boy and a girl. My husband knew their dad; a kind man who, as a young teenager, bought my husband (a 6-year-old boy at the time) a new toy truck after his family lost their home in a fire. Their mother was the kindergarten teacher at the school where I had just gotten a job. It was her first year there as well.

As time went on our families began spending time together, developing a strong friendship. Our boys played basketball together and our daughters, though two years apart, shared common values and goals and through the years, became very close.
While sharing stories and life experiences, we found that Jim and Cathy have the same wedding anniversary as James and I - July 14th. Cathy and I then learned that both of our parents had been married in the same church in Wichita, KS, though in different years. Talking with my dad, we found that he had known her grandfather back in the 1940's. The world suddenly became very small as our friendship continued to grow.

I love this family. We all do. I can't imagine what our lives would have been like these past few years without them. They are the face of goodness and friendship, and have filled our hearts to overflowing.

As the Christmas season comes into full swing and I look around at my many gifts, I see a family who has touched our world and made it better, brighter and fuller.

Merry Christmas, our dear friends. We love you so much and count you each as a true blessing!

Sky Watch Friday - December Sunset

2008-12-10T22:53:00.010-06:00

The winter sky (or pre-winter sky) is different than anything else. Unlike the subtle pastels of spring, the lazy hues of summer or the fiery reds and oranges of autumn, the winter sky lays above the horizon like a bejeweled canopy. With everything else resting around it, the sky bursts into life with brilliance and color, resisting hibernation, unlike the rest of the world.

Above me a flock of geese soar in syncopated flight; some serving as the kite's tail in their spring-like pursuit. I hear their excited honks as they seek a Christmas in balmy weather, dismissing me to my winter wonderland.
It's almost surreal, the colors of the sky. My mother used to say, about a certain type of sunset, "If you were to paint that, no one would believe it's real."

But it is real. An early Christmas gift. And just outside my own back door.

Enjoy SKYWATCH from around the world.

It isn't Christmas Until...

2008-12-07T23:16:00.003-06:00

It isn't Christmas until... We put up the live Christmas tree (this isn't it).
It isn't Christmas until... We bake sugar cookies using my grandma's recipe.
It isn't Christmas until... I hear Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas".
It isn't Christmas until... I listen to the tape of my brother playing the piano.
It isn't Christmas until... It snows at least once. Flurries count.
It isn't Christmas until... We unpack all the ornaments from Christmas past.
It isn't Christmas until... I start sending - and receiving - greetings in the mail.
It isn't Christmas until... We attend services at church.
It isn't Christmas until... We watch "Holiday Inn" and "It's a Wonderful Life".
It isn't Christmas until... I battle the malls at least once.
It isn't Christmas until... I mention my pants are getting a bit tighter!
It isn't Christmas until... I make some kind of home made gift.
It isn't Christmas until... We take our annual family photo.
It isn't Christmas until... We write about it at school.
It isn't Christmas until... I buy one of those boxes of chocolate covered cherries.
It isn't Christmas until... We remember the reason we celebrate in the first place.

I better get busy.....because Christmas is coming!

SkyWatch Friday

2008-12-04T22:18:00.004-06:00

This was the most interesting sky. It looked like lava had escaped from the clouds and spilled out over the horizon. The sunset is never the same here. No wonder twilight is my favorite time of day.

See the view from above at SkyWatch.

Farewell, November

2008-12-01T15:55:00.005-06:00

These skies seem fitting for the month of November with their golden hues and restful russets. The brilliance of deep autumn hesitates ever so slightly as it hovers on the horizon, checks its bags then quietly slips into a deep slumber. It will be replaced with icy blues and white as Jack dips his brush into a frosty palette, painting our morning windows with his intricate designs.

I will miss the evenings where twilight lingers on my doorstep and beckons me with her radiance. Yet there is respite and insight, a new season...a new day. And beyond Fall's gold curtain on the edge of the morrow, there's always new hope.

Thanksgiving Blessings

2008-11-27T23:32:00.009-06:00

Thanksgiving 2008 is in the books now; remnants of pumpkin pie and turkey left in tins and platters, and both hearts and stomachs filled to the brim.

We spent the day at my sister's house celebrating with family and friends, taking our traditional family photos and sharing laughs with those close at heart.

I look around me at the people I call family - the true blessings I've been given - and I'm humbled at what I have. Though I don't have a perfect life, it's close. I see a wealth in smiles on young faces and new babies to love; in those I have just met....and those I have loved forever.

In the late afternoon we spent time at my mom and dad's house, coming down from the busyness and slowing to a state of peaceful contentment. When I'm there I can wrap myself in a cloak of memories and feel safe in the presence of the two people I admire and respect more than anyone else I know.

It is this coming "home" that makes me feel grounded. It fills me up so I can come back to conquer the dragons that await here - the dragons that seem much smaller once I return.

I am thankful for the riches I hold everyday when I open my eyes to this world: my husband and children who, in all their imperfections, love me in all of mine. And I'm grateful that with all of our little idiosyncrasies, we match perfectly.

And though this Thanksgiving is indeed, now history, it's a new chapter in a book I will go to again and again, read often and glean much from what has been written.

I am truly blessed.

G.T.

2008-11-24T22:25:00.003-06:00

This is the face of loyalty. Our blue healer/border collie mix named G.T. He truly is a one-of-a-kind animal who is our protector and guard dog, but who also loves baby kitties and melts at the human touch. A couple of weeks ago I watched as one of our cats chased a tiny mouse across the back yard. G.T. actually barked at the cat, trying to get it to let go of its prey.

With a soft heart, piercing blue eyes and a gentle spirit he's been a part of our lives for 7 years now. We are almost even in age, he and I....... yet I find by watching him, there's still so much I can learn.

Sky to Sky

2008-11-22T15:11:00.005-06:00

These two photos are of the same windmills at a different angle and at a different time of day.

I have always been fascinated with the beauty of nature, particularly the sky. From the brilliance of a blue October to the thick white film of humid August, its variances between are continual like a child's colorful kaleidoscope.

I'm looking forward to the beauty that awaits...

Grease Is The Word

2008-11-15T01:04:00.006-06:00

Since the beginning of the school year, a large part of my time has been taken up with preparing for our musical, "Grease". Each year it seems that there is more to do to get ready for this annual production and many hours (and dollars) were spent on set design, costumes and even building "Greased Lightning", the infamous car driven by Kenickie.

It was my son's first time to perform and he had a big role, including a solo he did with style. I was proud not only of how well he did, but also of how he handled the compliments afterwards with his wonderful smile and classy manners. The best thing of all? His best friend was there for the final performance: his red-haired, college-aged sister.

It was a long road on the way to this success with glitches along the way including the loss of two actors a week before the show. But all the worry was for naught as they put on four stellar performances. We were small in number but great in talent and determination which made for an outstanding show.
We may be a small dot on the Kansas map, but Broadway ain't got nothin' on us!

Ushering In November - Skywatch

2008-11-06T16:24:00.005-06:00

There's something sweet about this picture. Maybe it's the fact that these two don't get to see one another much these days. Maybe it's the enduring and endearing friendship that they share. Or perhaps it is the innocence of youth, the hope for a new day and the dreams that lie for them both over tomorrow's horizon.

For more on Skywatch click here.

Feeling Peace

2008-10-19T00:48:00.003-05:00

Tonight my husband took me out for a belated birthday dinner. Before we went to eat, he indulged my creative spirit by stopping at Hobby Lobby where I perused the aisles to my heart's content. I like shopping at this time of year; when rows of shelves are lined with oranges and browns, russets and reds.

The Christmas decorations are also up. Some people hate the appearance of greenery before the Jack-O-Lanterns and goblins disappear, but I love it. While everyone else was absorbed with candy corns and smiling pumpkins, I walked up and down the rows of Christmas trinkets, alone with my thoughts and plans.

With my husband busy at the hobby trains, I took my time looking through the hundreds of glass ornaments hanging on four rows of the store. As is tradition, I selected one for my daughter and son that detailed where they are at this point in their lives. They both have a box filled to the brim with ornaments from each year so that when they have their own homes and their own trees, they'll already have memories to hang on their boughs.

It was enchanting, walking around undisturbed with the entire section to myself and beautiful music playing in the background. It takes so little to make me happy.
This was a night that I felt great peace.

Scribbling

2008-10-09T14:37:00.002-05:00

He's in the 5th grade now, a tow-headed boy I've known for some time. But when you're eleven and on the brink of adolescence, it's not so cool to talk to teachers and grown-ups in the hallways anymore. I've watched him become more detached over the years in this growing up process; his innocence and openness gradually slipping away. And it's been a little sad.

But yesterday when I greeted him in the hallway, expecting the usual mumbled reply, he stopped and looked at me saying, "Remember the scribble game?"

Do I. Carol Dochow and I started it back in 1971 in our fourth grade classroom. When we had finished with our school work, we would play it at our desks. The first person would make a scribble mark on a piece of paper then pass it to the other. That person would then look at the scribble from every angle and add to it to create a picture. When I was older and had kids of my own, I taught them how to play to keep them occupied when we were waiting at restaurants or at the doctor's office. Even my husband and I played it a few years back when we had to wait several hours at the Mayo Clinic

In recent years I used it to entertain young children roaming around while I was taking money at ballgames. They would sit on stools at the large table with me and we'd pass the paper back and forth. It was fun watching them take on the 'scribble'. This boy in the hallway was one of those kids who used to find fascination in a simple mark he could transform into art.

I told him that yes, I remembered, and that it would be fun for him to show his little brother how to play the game while they were waiting on someone.

"I want to play it with you." he said.

It's amazing just how little children truly need. In a world where technology reigns and we are bombarded with all that is electronic, a young boy still remembers - and is drawn to - a magical world of paper and pen where he can see the world any way he chooses, and be the master of his own creation.

Sunflowers

2008-10-05T20:49:00.006-05:00

I love this time of year when sunflowers dot the landscape like brown-faced angels embraced in golden halos.

To our east there are three fields filled with them, asking for a sitting to capture their loveliness.
I made it out three separate times to capture photos, though just have pictures from the first so far. The window of opportunity is only open a few weeks before they begin to hang their weary heads and the fields turn brown.

It is a once a year chance to capture their natural beauty in its pageantry and each year, I am newly thrilled.

Acting Up

2008-09-27T23:27:00.003-05:00

My daughter took this picture of her brother a couple of weeks ago when he came to visit her and a friend of theirs at the college dorms. It's hard to believe that in another two years, he too will be on his own.

He is a young man born from two different worlds: the athletic world of his father where sports took front row in a theater of all boys, and the artistic world of his mother (that would be me!) where music, art and literature were the focus of sisters and brothers.

Since the sixth grade, my son has played basketball, acclimating slowly to the game with his ever-growing and changing body, and emerging at 6'2" with great talent, appreciation and love for the game. But sometimes when one's passion becomes a requirement, it's easy to lose the spark that originally ignited....and the fire burns out.

This year he has opted to change his course and will be trading his Nikes for a leather jacket in our school's production of "Grease". He will step away from an expected role to try something new instead, and once his departure from the game of basketball 'hits the press', I'm sure he'll be faced with many questions.

It takes courage to digress from an assumed position and go out on that proverbial limb, suspended over unnetted space as you try out new wings. I'm proud of his stance and his willingness to tap into an uncharted part of who he is and can be. May he find what truly inspires him in this life and a happy balance that makes it all work.

'70s things I miss

2008-09-14T15:07:00.002-05:00

I loved the '70s. There was just something about that era which spoke of innocence and simplicity, of good common neighborliness and keeping things in perspective. It was moment paused before the technological years when people had time to talk face to face across back yard fences and kids knelt beside lazy creeks fishing out tadpoles, built tree houses and made forts in the currant bushes. Here are just a few of the things I miss from that charming and endearing time...

- Autograph books with colored pages for signatures and verses from friends and crushes
- The Carol Burnett Show
- Gunny sack swings hung from old elm trees
- Ben Franklin, Woolworths and TG&Y
- Crank ice cream freezers that were interactive and included the whole family
- PDQ that was mixed with cold milk for a delicious chocolate drink
- Full service filling stations with 'regular' gasoline and polite and knowledgeable attendants
- Carbon copies, their cool wet feel and the way they smelled right off the press
- Let's Make a Deal with Monty Hall
- My mother's drawings in sketch pads
- Rotary phones
- 5 cent cones from Dairy Queen on Saturday mornings
- Family slide shows on the big screen projector...or on the living room wall!
- Vinyl records
- Hand-written letters in the mail box on pretty stationery
- The soda fountain at Wilson Drugs
- Colored tin cups and cold well water
- Metal ice cube trays
- Bicycles with fenders on the tires and baskets on the front
- Flannel shirts and baseball jerseys
- A slower-paced life
- Discipline allowed at school and teachers being allowed to teach
- No drive-by shootings....no need for "No guns allowed" signs in schools and restaurants
- Respect and responsibility for one's actions
- Movies that still allowed us to use our imaginations
- A simpler journey

Everyone remembers things differently, but for me, at that time in my life it was the ideal; rich in my memory, rich in my heart.

Just Thinking...

2008-09-11T23:27:00.007-05:00

I'm having trouble getting my groove back. Life is throwing little changes every which way...and I've never been good at changes!

Though the nest isn't empty here at home, my daughter's absence is definitely felt from the banter with her brother in the morning to the sound of her petite frame on the stairway at night. I miss her. A lot.

Last weekend she saw one of her classmates off on his own journey as he joins the Navy and heads off to see the world. While his high school friends now gather in student unions and attend ballgames, he'll be studying to become a nuclear engineer. A little boy no more. And the world keeps spinning 'round...

I remember when my daughter was just a few weeks old, I would push her in the stroller around our neighborhood. Having quit my job to stay at home full time and being somewhat isolated from my fellow adults, I felt a bit trapped, wondering how life would ever be 'normal' again. And it wasn't. At least not in the same way. What I didn't know then was that it would become a new, different kind of 'normal', and that every day would be an incredible adventure filled with challenges, joy and love.

Now when I look at my daughter, I see a road towards growth and independence before her...and another new 'normal' emerging for us both. It may be awhile before we get it completely figured out, but in the midst of all the complexities, questions. and moments of missing lies the invisible tie that always keeps us close at heart.

A piece of history

2008-09-01T21:22:00.006-05:00

These are my grandparents, Charles and Verna Osburn. When I was at Mom and Dad's house this afternoon, I saw this photograph of my grandfather for the first time and was mesmerized by a face that I never knew. He passed away in August of 1964, when I was not yet three. Though my grandmother lived for 22 more years, the sweet face in this picture is somewhat foreign as I only remember her smile after a home surgery to remove a cyst left part of her face paralyzed. I am thankful to have these keepsakes.

I find that as I get older, the past becomes more important. Because of those who walked before me, I am here. Without their journey and without their paths crossing, merging, blending - history would be forever changed.

Today I pause and feel blessed for family: who I come from, who walks beside me... and who is yet to be.

Seeking Peace

2008-08-26T21:40:00.003-05:00

Every year in my Mom and Dad's Christmas card, Mother includes a short story of hope that she has read at some point throughout the year. While going through some of my things last weekend, I came across this story sent to us several years ago. For some reason I didn't have it with all the others. Perhaps right now, I need it to stand out as a reminder to myself in how I should be traveling the path I'm walking right now.

Picture of Peace

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, was the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture.

"Because," the king explained, "Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

College Bound

2008-08-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

Today I took my baby to college. It's a day I've been pushing to the back of my mind for a year. But life doesn't wait for us to be ready nor to catch up to what is brings. We have to ride the wave, no matter how big and try to keep our balance until we find the shore.

One more time, I share words that I left her in a card as I kissed her good-bye and waved from the door...

My Dear Angel,

Where do I begin? I am so proud of you for so many wonderful reasons! You have been a bright light in my life ever since I first held you in my arms. Your creative hand and considerate heart endear you to everyone who knows you, and your strong sense of right and wrong, fair and not, has served - and will serve - you well. I know that this is a time of mixed feelings and apprehension for you...and that is perfectly normal. Don't worry about knowing, or not knowing, all the answers right now. Life is a constant examination, and we are supposed to be continuously learning and growing along the way. Trust yourself and your instincts. You have wonderful judgment for each situation, and your gut feeling will tell you what to do. Always listen.

Open your mind and heart to new experiences that you know could be healthy in who you can be. If an art class looks fun, take it. If a part in a play calls for dancing, dance. Think of all the new things you've tried during high school and how well you did with them. Believe in yourself and you'll be surprised at how high you can fly! Never compromise who you are, and remember that those who truly love you will never ask you to. You will learn a great deal about what you believe in and what is important, and each lesson is valuable in who you are becoming.

Remember - Home is always here. We love you, unconditionally and completely and always will. I am just a phone call or letter away if you ever need anything. Though I will give you space to learn and grow on your own, if you ever need me, I'll be there in a heartbeat.

I will miss you terribly, but I'm excited for YOU and for the wonderful and fun things that I know lay ahead! Have faith in God, have faith in yourself and know how very much you are loved.

Blessings to you my beautiful girl.
Love Always, Mom

Healing the Sparrow

2008-08-17T18:46:00.005-05:00

On my way into town this evening, I noticed an animal ahead crossing the road. By its movements it appeared to be a opossum, but as I drew closer I could tell that it was a small raccoon. It was either ill or wounded, its bony and fragile frame half limping, half dragging the width of the gravel road. My heart broke to see it struggling as it fell to the ground, quickly rising and making its way into the ditch.

I stopped along the roadside to see if I could make out its shape in the tall grass, but it had disappeared. Watching our dog tangle with a raccoon during a recent walk I knew better than to go in after it. But the vision of it suffering haunted me as I continued on my way.

How often do we as humans feel wounded and deserted, walking a lonely road by ourselves? Most people experience this at some point in their lives and it can be overwhelming. When we are struggling down that old dirt road feeling hurt and unloved, its easy to hide among the thrushes, licking our wounds and waiting for it all to pass.

But we are not alone. God is watching and waiting. He asks that we step out into the sunlight and let His healing hand touch our hearts and bring us peace. Sometimes it's difficult to ask for help, but by opening ourselves up and accepting His grace, we are given new life and new hope.

His eye is on the sparrow. And He watches over me.

To the Party

2008-08-03T10:22:00.005-05:00

My daughter and one of her friends share birthdays just four days apart. With their paths forking into different directions in the next two weeks, they decided to have one last bash to celebrate.

The group they hang out with are unique teenager in today's world. Instead of heading to a club, bar or places that others deem as 'cool', they chose to hang out here at home. Their friends gathered for movies, food and silly pictures. When the sun went down on a very hot day in Kansas, they formed teams and headed outside to play flashlight tag with the fireflies. And as evening turned into night, one young man brought out his guitar and sang as everyone gathered round.

There were golden friendships from years gone by, kids that my son and daughter have known and loved since they were small. And there were more recent friendships made in the years we've been here; all of them coming together at one time in one place to celebrate the exuberance of youth.

In the weeks ahead, everything changes. Seven of these beautiful, lively people will leave for college, branching off into new directions and forging new paths as they look to find who they are and where they fit in this wondrous world. Though having a house filled with eleven teenagers (two more came during the evening) requires patience, energy and a deaf ear at times, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I know that all too soon the sound of silence will ring loudly within these walls.

Today I too, celebrate. And I savor these moments as they slip quickly by, capturing these days and for a time, stopping the clock.

Sky Watch - Looking Up

2008-07-31T17:00:00.000-05:00

There was nothing spectacular about the sky on this day as I panned the horizon looking for a shot. And then I looked straight up...and everything changed. Perhaps we could all do better if we took more time in life to look above to the beauty that awaits us.

Join the group as we explore Sky Watch around the world each week.

A Birthday Wish...

2008-07-27T08:00:00.002-05:00

My Dearest Daughter,

My wish did come true. As I write today my mind goes back to all of the memories of time spent with you: bringing you home from the hospital (I was so scared!) and watching you grow with every passing day.

I can still see you with your little pony tails, holding your "Mooney" and singing songs with me on the front porch swing. I hear your little girl laughter as you run through the sprinkler with your brother and listen as you make up games and 'spin your webs'. And I watched these past 19 years as you grew into a lovely young woman whom I am so proud of.

You are beautiful, unique, special. I couldn't have chosen better if I'd hand-picked you myself. In God's infinite wisdom He gave me someone absolutely perfect and trusted me to raise her right. And though I've definitely made my share of mistakes, you have blossomed in spite of them and become a person I adore and cherish.

Thank you for everything you have given me through the years; for the overwhelming joy and laughter that has been my life because of you. I am so blessed to have the honor to be your mother and look forward to the memories and love that still lie ahead.
You are always, ALWAYS in my heart....and only a moment away. I love you so very much, from the very beginning...now...and forever.

Happy, Happy Birthday darlin'...

Rock Hunting

2008-07-26T10:06:00.006-05:00

July has come to Kansas and with it, the hot winds that blow across the plains. Its arid breath dries the ground faster than I can wet it with the garden hose, and flowers droop their tired heads in heated exhaustion.

I look around our yard at all the possibilities: potential flower beds, an arbor with a swing, trees to shade the lawn. And more rocks.

Rock hunting was not just "adverb+verb" in our house; it was an adventure. Back in the 1960's there weren't elaborate greenhouses and landscaping shops where one could purchase rocks for the garden. Even if there had been, we would never have been able to afford them. Lucky us. It set the stage for a family outing that remains with me still.

On a warm summer evening or a Saturday afternoon, we would load up in the old Ford pick-up, with most of us riding in the back (a common practice of country folk in the 1960's) and drive across the countryside looking for rocks. We'd drive the dirt roads surrounding our farm, turning into pastures and leaving the truck to 'hoof it' up grassy slopes, scanning the tall Buffalo grass for unique rocks to line Mother's garden.

We would pull on brown, cotton work gloves, look for just the right rock and haul our special finds to the back of the truck. There was always delight in the discovery and pleasure in sharing Mother's joy of these new additions to her flower beds.

After several stops we would jump back in the pick-up. The windows would be rolled down in front and some of us would sit on the tailgate in the back, my dad driving so slowly that we could touch the ground with our feet as we moved over terraces at the edge of our fields. I still remember the feel of the soft, fine dirt underneath my bare feet and the smell of wind and earth.

It was a time in rural America when people trusted one another and thought nothing of letting neighbors onto their land. There was mutual, unspoken respect and trust, and a give and take between us; an open-door policy that invited and fostered close relationships and friendships across the fence row. It was a simpler time when sharing a summer afternoon with your family consisted of looking for rocks and being as happy with your find as if it were a gift. And as I grow older I see that it was. For in those times of sharing we grew closer in family.......and richer in love.

That indeed was a gift....and it was enough.

Sky Watch Friday - Glorious

2008-07-24T17:00:00.002-05:00

I couldn't decide which of these I liked the most. I love the horizontal photograph because it showcases so much of the clouds and the interesting lighting and coloring that was taking place.

But I also love the vertical shot because of the contrast between brilliant blue sky and the black silhouette of land.

Same sky, different perspectives. Beauty in both.

For more on Skywatch with our hosts Tom, Sandy, Klaus and Imac visit here.

Wasn't it only yesterday?

2008-07-22T19:55:00.002-05:00

This summer I've been sorting through some of my old photographs, and remembering sweet moments from days gone by.

This particular picture was taken nearly 15 years ago when our local newspaper was doing an article about the Salvation Army's angel tree. The photographer snapped candid shots as I visited with the reporter and my daughter nestled closely next to me, listening to our words.

Though that Christmas lies in my memory from a photograph of long ago, I can still feel the spirit of that moment and the warmth of my little girl, stilled in my heart as if it were only yesterday.

Sky Watch Friday - Watching the Storm

2008-07-17T17:45:00.002-05:00

With the many storms we've experienced this year across Kansas, I've learned to find the beauty in the prelude of their wrath.

This one crept in from the south, building back as far as the eye could see and stretching diagonally into the Oklahoma border. I watched in fascination from the bed of my husband's pick-up as the tops built up higher and higher; visibly pluming into soft cottony tufts. Though I knew it contained dangerous lightening, hail and high winds, I couldn't help but be captured by the intense beauty of its presentation.

I stayed out as long as I felt was safe and until the realism hit me in gray smoldering clouds that spat raindrops upon me and sent me indoors to watch from the window.

Sometimes I miss the city with the shops down the street, art and music. And then I look up to the vastness above and hear the beautiful sound of silence, see the perfection in God's paintings and find wonder in a gift that no store will ever sell.

Tune in to Tom for more Sky Watch.

Speaking of Weddings...

2008-07-14T00:05:00.000-05:00

Today my husband and I celebrate our 7th anniversary. We met at the turn of the new millennium, thus beginning an adventure that would change both of our lives forever.

I remember sitting down with the minister during pre-marital counseling and hearing how difficult it was to succeed at a second marriage....and truth be told, if I had known all of the trials and tribulations we were to face these last few years, I wouldn't have gone through with it. I've always said that it's a good thing that God didn't bless us with money or I would've bolted long ago! But how glad I am now that I stayed...

It's fitting that in the book of James - my husband's name - it speaks of how we should be grateful for the challenges that come our way for they help build our character and strength. Two and a half years ago I wrote a post called, "Choosing to Love". I think it's as true today as it was back then. And even though we don't always have a choice in what happens to us, we do have a choice in how we deal with our circumstances. Often it is those decisions that bring us either sorrow or joy.

My husband knows that there are still parts of me that long for the city; for the diversity that is hard to find in small town (or country) living. He knows that there are people whose friendships I miss and that I wish for a neighbor to talk to across the fence, a front porch for my swing, and pavement beneath my feet. And yet, if we hadn't met, if we had not come here I wouldn't have experienced all of the beauty that lies beyond my back doorstep, nor been enriched by those who have crossed my path. Things happen for a reason and people happen for a reason. And so it is with us.

May our journey be just beginning, and may the road before us be lit by grace and love as we travel together in the years ahead.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I Love you.

Sky Watch Friday - Get me to the church on time

2008-07-10T17:00:00.003-05:00

This was taken the morning of my niece's wedding. It was a lovely October day; an "October's Bright Blue Weather Day" (Helen Hunt Jackson). The sky was truly this color: a cobalt blue that was almost surreal. It served as a flawless backdrop for this beautiful cathedral....and was the perfect prelude to a day filled with joy and love.

Thanks again to Tom for hosting Sky Watch.

Serenity's Secret

2008-07-06T18:40:00.000-05:00

One day when I was visiting my mom and dad, I was looking through one of Mother's books called, Secrets of Serenity. In it I found the following quote from Andy Rooney:

For most of life nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family and friends, then chances are you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness - or unhappiness - on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

I often write about joy and how it is found in the small, daily happenings that we experience. I think I've always known, both from being taught by my parents and by observing and living, that the worthwhile and joyous things are those that come in the small, delightful packages of our everyday existence.

Life is about the seemingly simple: flowers opening outside your window....having lunch with your favorite friend.....an ice cream cone on a hot July afternoon.....a sunset on the horizon.....pound cake in the oven.....a song that stirs your soul. The big and momentous happenings should never be the sustenance for our happiness, but rather a supplement to the joy of the journey found on our daily walk.

Open your heart. Look out your window. Live for today. For within it lies serenity and in that, the secret to a happy life.

Sky Watch Friday - Splendor Up Above

2008-07-03T17:43:00.006-05:00

I think that the sky is God's most amazing masterpiece. I love its many facets and colors, its ever changing, breath-taking wonderment and the peace I feel at its natural beauty.

No wonder He put it above, so we would have to look up. Fitting, indeed.

For Mike

2008-06-29T10:34:00.002-05:00

Several years ago I was fortunate enough to meet a gentleman from Minnesota named Mike who loves music, his friends and most of all, his family.

Three months ago his beloved father was diagnosed with cancer and given little hope for survival. But with many prayers, good thoughts and hope he is doing well and was able to share this past Father's Day with his sons.

When I heard this song I thought of Mike and how he and his father are living each day as it comes, rejoicing in the moments that they share and taking nothing for granted. We could all learn a lesson from them and from this beautiful melody by Josh Groban that tells us to be awake through all the blessings we are given and live each day with joy.

Sky Watch Friday - Backyard Pyramid

2008-06-26T17:30:00.001-05:00

pyr·a·mid [pírrəmid]

system with expanding structure: an arrangement or system that has a small number of items at one point and expands gradually to have a large number at the opposite point

Though the sky in this photograph is hardly spectacular, to me these six faces make it special.

For more Sky Watch, visit Wiggers World.

Yes.....they're mine!

2008-06-24T20:56:00.004-05:00

Raising teenagers is an adventure. Just by watching their antics and listening to their laughter, I feel young, hopeful...alive.

My daughter and son are never far from "quirky", and I love that about them. A girl they go to school with saw these photographs and said that they must have been really bored the night they took them. I beg to differ. It isn't that they have nothing to do, but simply that they find joy in whatever they do. Even if it's taking silly pictures in our backyard with a group of their friends (and a dog or two).

Lucky them....lucky me. And lucky the world that awaits all the fun they will share!

My Paper Doll

2008-06-22T20:42:00.006-05:00

Oh, you beautiful doll
You great big beautiful doll,
Let me put my arms about you,
I could never live without you.
Oh, you beautiful doll
You great big beautiful doll,
If you'd ever leave me how my heart would ache,
I want to hug you but I fear you'll break,
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, you beautiful doll!

While going through old books this afternoon during a reorganization of our family room, I came across a folder of paper dolls from my childhood days. Among them I found this sweet, red-haired baby with brown eyes and a cherub's face. I remembered how much I had loved playing with her, evident by the tears and tape across her little body.

And then it struck me how much she looked like my own red-haired, brown-eyed baby girl of many years ago. Interesting how things in life repeat themselves in strange and wonderful ways if we are observant enough to take note. But as much as I delighted in this paper baby as a little girl myself, she couldn't compare to the joy I experienced from the real thing in the years ahead.

When my daughter was little, my mother used to call her "my little paper doll." With her easy smile and delicate ways, it seemed a fitting description for the tiny miss that she used to be. She's all grown up now; a young lady that long ago surpassed the love I held for my paper toys. And though I'm now too old for dolls, I will never outgrown my love for the real live, red-haired baby I once held in my arms, and forever hold in my heart.

Sky Watch Friday - Badminton

2008-06-19T17:10:00.003-05:00

Though I've had just about enough of the thunderstorms these past few weeks, I have to admit it's given me some wonderful cloud photographs for Sky Watch.

This storm mixed it up in the east so was already past us before it began. It made an excellent backdrop for an evening of badminton, and an interesting subject for me to shoot.
Please visit Tom's blog at Wiggers World for more Sky Watch Friday.

Someone I've been missing...

2008-06-18T18:28:00.004-05:00

My son has just returned to Kansas after a week long fishing trip up to Canada with his dad. Though the vacation itself was only seven days, he's been gone from home for almost two weeks....and I've really missed him.

They said that it was a cold trip this year and it's evident by their layers and coats. But something must have been just right in the air, or in this case, the water because the Northern Pike were definitely biting!

Father's Day

2008-06-15T14:04:00.004-05:00

I love this picture of my dad, taken in 1944 during his senior year of high school. In it the smile of a young man, just beginning his journey, lights up the photograph with a grin nearly identical to my own teenage boy - his grandson.

He had no way of knowing that he was to meet my mother and have six children together, who in turn would give him twelve grandchildren and one great granddaughter. He also had no knowledge of the trials life would throw his way, nor the joys that would over ride any sorrow in his life.

My father. A man of integrity and honor. A gentle soul who loves babies and animals, who tends the flower garden with my mom and takes pride in his own small garden at the back of the yard. A man who loves trains and old telephones and at 80 years old, still rides his bicycle around town. A man who doesn't know a stranger and believes in the goodness of his fellow man. A man who adores my mother and has shared almost 60 years of married life with her. A man I am proud of, respect and look up to.

Six children can tax a one-parent income, but I never felt this from my father. He went to work every day, knowing we were safe and loved in my mother's embrace and came home each night with the resolution to keep earning, keep giving, keep going. I always felt valued, and though one of three daughters and one of a brood of kids, felt special. I still do.

These days when I go home, he greets me with that same wonderful smile, worries about me like I'm still 17 and as always, calls me "Lor". He is the pillar in my life that never wavers, remaining steadfast through both shadows and sun. He has given me a name that I will always treasure, knowing it was handed down in honor by a man whose quiet goodness is matched by few.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. Thank you for all you have done and given me. No matter where I go or what last name I bear, inside I will always be a Slater, and because of that...... I'm rich.

Sky Watch Friday - Approaching Storm

2008-06-12T17:07:00.002-05:00

Kansas has been plagued with many storms this spring that have threatened and rumbled across the landscape. Though I am a native of the prairie, I've never gotten used to the anger of an approaching thunderstorm. It is something to be respected, always, and not taken lightly.

In the same breath, I can also appreciate the amazing beauty of the clouds and sky as they put on a spectacular show unmatched by anything else. These photos are exactly as the horizon looked before one of these storms. The white clouds above the house made me feel as if I should blink to clear my sight as they appeared as a "double vision" to the beholder. The puffy hail clouds above the sunset had a true silver lining: promising - and delivering - a sun-filled morrow.

For more on Skywatch Friday, please visit our gracious host, Tom, at Wiggers World.

Aunt Nora

2008-06-09T15:53:00.006-05:00

Aunt Nora was born into the Crawford family in the early 1900's. I know very little about her growing up years other than the fact that she had an older brother Vachel, who was my first husband's maternal grandfather.

I have always thought that this high school picture, taken her senior year, is the most beautiful I've ever seen of a young woman of that era. Perhaps of all time. Except, of course, for my own daughter who through my eyes, is matched by none. But then, the same blood courses through their veins, and I'm told that my daughter's great, great Aunt Nora also had a head of beautiful auburn hair.

Due to finances, only one child could attend college. It was decided that Nora would go. She studied Art at the University of Kansas back in the 1920's; a time when college was not the natural progression of a young woman's post high school years. Somewhere is her drawing board where pen and ink sketches of hairstyles and fancy shoes still flow across wood.

She went on to teach Art at a community college and met and married Harlan Blachly. They lived in a small Kansas town all of their years together and were fortunate enough to travel and see the world.

I met Aunt Nora in 1982 when I was 20 and she was in her 70's. From the beginning I knew she was someone special. She was elegant and classy, loved KU basketball, playing the piano and all that was fair. I never heard a cross word or an ounce of gossip from her; she was a true lady in every sense of the word and a kindred spirit in a family where I sometimes felt I didn't quite fit. Though she wasn't really my family, she always accepted me as hers.

After my daughter was born, Aunt Nora gave her this pen and ink drawing done in college, somewhere around 1927. Having no children of her own and knowing our love for Art, it was passed down two generations so that when my daughter has a home of her own, it can hang on those walls. It will always be a reminder of this beautiful woman in her life; a woman she was just getting to know.

Today, June 9th, was Aunt Nora's birthday. She passed away a few years ago and is laid to rest beside her beloved husband in a quiet cemetery along the prairie. She left behind a legacy of kindness and compassion, a true Christian spirit of loving thy neighbor, and a radiant smile we will always remember.
Happy Birthday, Aunt Nora. You are missed.

Where, Harvest?

2008-06-08T19:24:00.008-05:00

Last year I wrote about the wheat crop and the devastation of our farmer's harvest. With the combination of a late freeze and a rainy spring, the earth produced short small stalks and weedy fields.

This year promised to be a bumper crop. Tall golden wheat rose proudly across the prairie, straight and healthy; a beautiful consolation for the previous year.

Combines posed ready beside tin implement sheds as the farmers waited patiently those last two weeks for the wheat to turn from green to gold...... and hopes were high.

Then it happened. Again. Thunderclouds gathered on muggy afternoons unleashing their violent temper night after night. This last week we've been hit with two major storms that broke strong tree branches and saturated the ground. In between each storm the wind would continue to blow, but blue sunny skies renewed hope that the crop could still be saved.

Tonight I drove down our road and watched as yet another front came rolling across the landscape.
I looked at the fields that had taken a beating yet continued to stand with the golden promise of what could still be. And I hoped that the storm would pass around to our north - or better yet - dissipate completely and give our farmers a reprieve.

I turned the car back towards home and my heart fell as I got out, looked back over my shoulder and saw the storm rapidly approaching. I had time to snap a quick picture before the lightening got too close then came inside to watch from my west bedroom window.

It was a matter of moments before the wind gust was upon us, smashing against our little trees and carrying precious top soil across the horizon. And with it came rain. Lots of it. Again.

Once more the Kansas farmers... our friends, our neighbors..... are fighting the elements during an already difficult economical time. And the hopes of all their toil are once more dashed in the midst of a harsh and seemingly relentless spring.

When you buy your bread this summer, think about these people who have worked so hard to put food on your tables, and ask God to grace them with peace, perseverance and hope.

In the midst of all this gray, it's very difficult for them to see the rainbow.

Badminton Anyone?

2008-06-07T00:45:00.001-05:00

Before all the storms of this past week began to hit, the kids took to the back yard for an evening of badminton against the golden backdrop of dusk. I sat in the grass with our new puppy, Lucy, braving the chiggers and watched as they ran after the little plastic birdie. It didn't matter that they couldn't find the net. With five acres of room and a glorious evening, it wasn't necessary...and hardly the point.

To the east the clouds gathered in lovely billows of white cotton: a thing of beauty for me - an evening of storms for someone else. Turning to the west I could see faces raised to the sky and hear laughter floating through the air.

I'm happiest when there are young ones around, for merriment is always better when multiplied and shared. The heart of a teenager is still optimistic and uncluttered from the world's trials and disappointments. The smiles and laughter are real, unrehearsed and contagious.

May the joys of the summer find you too this weekend, and may you celebrate their glory with the enthusiasm and energy of youth.

Give it a try!

2008-06-07T00:22:00.003-05:00

I stole this off of John's blog and wanted to see how it worked. Too many songs to choose from, but my husband and I had a lot of fun remembering some golden oldies and dancing to one of our favorites.

Lucy

2008-05-31T13:36:00.004-05:00

This is Lucy, the newest member of our family. We got her from my sister who lives on a farm 80 miles from here. While she acclimates to her new surroundings and the modge-podge of critters we have (who are a little leery of her energy and friendliness!), she oscillates between spending time in the house and being outdoors. She is a social little puppy who will chew on any and every thing in sight.

It's ironic that now that school is out, the kids would have had a legitimate claim when they said, "The dog ate my homework!"

Sky Watch Friday - A Different View

2008-05-29T17:17:00.009-05:00

One evening a couple of weeks ago, my son and I were returning home when he noticed something a little off from the norm. "I think there's a cat up on that pole!" he exclaimed as we passed underneath it. We were on a gravel road and as there was no traffic, backed up to get another look. Sure enough, there was a gray cat lying - very high up - on a power line pole. I got out of the car to shoot this photograph and called to it. It simply stared at me as if this was the most natural place for it to be and as if I was a hindrance to its afternoon nap.

The next day, it was gone. I have no idea if it made it down on its own terms or if it met an untimely death by its famous curiosity. But every time I pass that pole now I automatically look up and think of the cat that dared to be different.

There She Goes......And Here She Comes...

2008-05-19T22:26:00.008-05:00

Saturday I watched as the light of my life walked across the gymnasium floor, stepping over the threshold from being "my little girl" to a young woman beginning a magnificent and wonderful journey. I watched as she took the podium as Salutatorian, speaking to her classmates with the class and grace that she always shows.
All the years of watching her grow, holding her close, guiding her, supporting her, listening and learning, culminated on a sunny afternoon in a small school gym as she smiled for the camera, received her diploma and left the building as a high school graduate. It hasn't really hit me yet, though my eyes filled with tears more than once during the ceremony.

After greetings and hugs from teachers, family and friends, we returned home for a reception in her honor. Gifts overflowed on the living room floor and the house was filled to the brim with many who love her and wish her well. We shared laughs and memories and slices of white cake as we sat around our beautiful girl and celebrated her special day. It was a lot to take in and I know we will be feeling the after effects for several days in the near future.

The next day after church, we were driving to a local restaurant for dinner.

"I feel so spoiled," my daughter said. "I have the perfect life. The perfect family, the perfect house, perfect friends and boyfriend. Everything is so good...too good to be true."

I told her that she is hardly spoiled. She probably cares less about material things than anyone else I know. It felt good to know that she sees her life as so wonderful, when of course, it isn't really 'perfect'. I told her that she is a large part of why things are so good; that a good life is hardly an accident. She has made good choices in how she lives her life and how she has handled her circumstances and relationships. Living a life that feels like a perfect fit for us and having love from wonderful people is not a spoiled life, but a blessed one. Kindness and goodness draws kindness and goodness, and though bad times come to us all, how we choose to deal with those difficulties charts our course through the rough waters back onto the calmness of the shore.

My beautiful daughter....though my heart aches at the thought of you leaving us in the fall, I know that many wonderful things await you. With your loving and lovely heart, and your gentle - yet fun - spirit, you will soar with grace through the amazing adventure ahead. And though you are one of 17 in the class of 2008, as far as I'm concerned, you are in a class all of your own.

Sky Watch - Pondering Twilight

2008-05-08T16:01:00.000-05:00

In the three years since I've been blogging, I've posted this photograph twice, so I apologize to all of my veteran readers for the repetition. But with the busy-ness of things I haven't had a lot of "sky" time as of late. Several of you have commented on this picture from my sidebar, so this week I present once again, Whiskers in all her glory.

Weepy

2008-05-05T22:43:00.002-05:00

I'm on the edge these days. I walk a thin line, teetering on tender emotions that threaten to bring tears at any given moment.

It happened twice at church yesterday. The first time was when a new baby was baptized; her infant coos accompanying wide eyes against Daddy's strong shoulder as Mama held the hand of two-year old sister. October 1, 1989 - when my own baby girl was baptized - was just last week, wasn't it? Her white gown made by Nana flowed over her chubby little legs, and priceless memories of love and joy lay before her.

The second time was during the Lord's Prayer. We always hold hands with the person on each side, and once again tears clouded my vision as I held my daughter's small hand in mine. The prayer was stilled in my throat as I saw her other hand holding that of her brother...and suddenly they were four and two, running through the sprinkler, playing on the swings, Trick-or-Treating.......their childhood grins firmly planted on little faces and days stretching endlessly ahead.

And while watching the televised graduation of the Greensburg, Kansas seniors, the realization of another graduation really hit home...and I wondered how I'll get through it with the grace and composure that I owe my 'little girl'.

I'm on the edge, all right.

Having children is not for the weak at heart.
Neither is letting them go.

Sky Watch Friday - Spring Storm

2008-05-01T20:50:00.008-05:00

I don't think that the camera ever does justice to the magnificence of clouds. I find them fascinating...intriguing...and difficult to capture exactly as they are.

My husband and I watched these on our walk tonight as they changed from moment to moment.

It's difficult to get any real exercise in when one stops every
minute to shoot the sky!

Prom 2008

2008-04-26T23:41:00.013-05:00

It hardly seems like a year ago when my daughter was getting ready for last year's prom. And now here she is, going down that road again in her final days of high school.

I have few words to write tonight. Instead I'll let the pictures speak as I quietly step back....

and watch as my little girl grows up.

Sky Watch Friday - April 25th

2008-04-25T23:05:00.003-05:00

Due to a very rainy spring last year, the dandelion crop is flourishing in 2008. My daughter and her boyfriend made lemonade amidst the lemons when they posed for this photograph amidst the annoying weed!
(Photos courtesy of my son)

Circle of Life

2008-04-23T23:12:00.001-05:00

The other night my son, daughter and their friend took the camera down our gravel road and came back with some cute photos. This is their 'countrified' version of "The Lion King" featuring one of our many felines.

P.S. No animals were harmed in this filming, though I imagine they were quite perplexed!