Friday, September 08, 2006

Questions and Answers

Within my eye's view lies a busy highway; a road that leads both north and south, bringing travelers up from Texas and Oklahoma and down from Nebraska, the Dakotas, and Canada.
The path I take to get there is made of fine, brown dirt; soft and velvety beneath bare feet, the kind that drifts upward like cocoa chiffon with every step. It is a road just wide enough for one vehicle, where wildflowers and Johnson grass sway gently on either side.
I walk across the overpass and look out over the speeding traffic; tires upon asphalt overpowering the shuffle of my sneakers, the faithful blue healer by my side.
And I wonder....
Where are they going and where have they been? Are they happy about their destination or dreading its arrival? Do they see me, too, standing above them...and wonder the same things?

Sometimes I feel envious. The smooth ride of a new SUV passes underneath me and heads north; perhaps going into the city where there is art and music and diversity. It's shiny paint tells that it has never traveled dusty country roads and the illumination from its DVD reminds me of all the things I cannot give my own family. A sportscar zooms by, its driver hurrying across my stretch of prairie so he can get back to his comfortable world of neon lights and expensive food.
I think of all the places I want to go, and all the places I never will. My heart feels restless and my mind wanders to what might have, could have been. There are question for myself, yet no certain answers as I contemplate life from another view.

Then I turn to look across the horizon...and there is home. Home, where the light burns through my lacey curtains. Home, where the music of laughter rings against the walls. Home, where my children know me...and like me anyway, and where my husband waits with unconditional love. Home, where the treasures of my life are fixed in memories built there and memories waiting to be. My footsteps quicken westward down the hill as it beckons. And though the longings of another world follow on my shirt tail, they're shaken loose as I open the door to all that matters and know without a doubt, where I belong.

9 comments:

Michael said...

you know,this is a post I could have written myself. although I am blessed in many ways, the other side sometimes seems so alluring. Things I want to experience and see that I often wonder if I will ever see or do.

Yet, I always remember what I have and value the simple things that I have. Many of them are things a "rich" person could never have or experience.

TT-MY

ps- I would wave at ya if I saw you on that overpass!

Lance said...

Great Post Lori. I am have been back in Texas for the last five weeks, and after living in Georgia for the last couple years, home is where my heart is now not where it used to be. I think you have a good idea of your blessings in life. Texas now represents the SUVs and Sportscars to me, and they get crappy gas mileage.

Life is not a race. I think you are going along at a great pace.

martie said...

Once again you have captured the way so many of us feel! Thank you for saying it in a much more eloquent way than I could! Hugs, my friend!

srp said...

A wonderful post. Life never really turns out as we expect or plan for. Most of the time we have that place we know we belong, but some don't. If we didn't wonder "what if", we wouldn't be human.

KellyGirl said...

Lori,

Thank you for your lovely message you posted on my blog last week. I just saw it actually. That was sweet of you! Kelly

KellyGirl said...

I loved the last part you wrote. It is very touching. You are blessed.

alan said...

Being content in the present instead of longing for the past or some "hopefully happy" future is a great art, one not many master, especially in a world driven by Madison Avenue!

Congratulations on being one in a billion!

I always knew you were...

alan

Jacqueline said...

Home is where your heart is and you've expressed so beautifully in your last paragraph. Lovely post, Lori!

Mellissa said...

Just remember that some of us run up and down those roads in shiny cars, hoping to find a driveway just like yours, and to open the door to family that loves them. The other stuff is just a distraction along the way to finding "real".

I am writing again....I love you dear friend!

xoxo,
Ladybug