Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Lost

The clock sits in front of me, just to my right. I watch it as the minutes spin faster, telling me my time is limited. It will soon be up and I will have to return to the classroom. Children's footsteps echo down the hallway and their little voices fill the long corridors with laughter. People come in and out of the lab, stopping to talk to me, interrupting the flow of thoughts, then sit down just a few feet away. Bangles clang together, keyboards tap out assignments and requests.....and I am at a loss.

Before my feelings were smooth and in my own time. Now they are scheduled, racing against a clock that taunts me. No photographs lay in a folder to help relay my story. No comfy chair to sit in or familiar surroundings to coax my thoughts along. This room is cold and impersonal, like a contemporary refrigerator box and evokes no memories from my mind.....and I am at a loss.

The hands of time tell me when to go. They dictate when I can write, then I am out of the gate; off to speed down the track to get something out there. But nothing comes. I am a stranger here in this space, with everything to say but with no way to say it.

I keep telling myself I'll be back. But for now, I am lost....

8 comments:

martie said...

You're not lost.....just out of your element! Hopefully you'll be able to post from home sooner than later. Where ever you post from, we will all be here waiting with anticipation to read what you write. Hugs to you, gf!

Jacqueline said...

My dear Lori, your thoughts and feelings flow so beautifully in your writings, in spite of the circumstances you're in. You're a great writer, indeed! without loss for words!! :)
Hope you'd be able to get a home pc soon.

Networkchic said...

You can't be lost when so many people know exactly where you are. Just be patient and time will also bring you back to the place where nothing but your heart dictates.

Ocean said...

Awe maybe you can get your home putering going again soon. Yeah I'm sure changeing your place to type makes it different. I hate change myself. All though I have found after awhile, I get used to the change and its not as bad I thought.

Mellissa said...

Lori,

I have misplaced your addy. Please email me so I can send you something to bring you back to "cozy".

I have missed you dear friend.

Mellissa

alan said...

You may be lost to yourself, but for me you are found; your words are missed!

alan

srp said...

I know the feeling of being "lost" without a computer, without a job, without a quiet home of your own. But, you are NEVER at a loss for words to express how you feel. They always flow smoothly onto the paper or the screen, no matter where you are. Hope your computer will soon be fixed and your comfort zone restored.

McSwain said...

You're not lost-- just a little out of touch. Miss you!