Monday, August 20, 2007

A Man's Mind

I often wonder what my husband is thinking. A man that I worked with this summer said that women give men too much credit; that at any given moment men are only thinking about one of two things: 1) food and 2) things that bring them pleasure! And though we all got a chuckle from those words, I'd like to think that there's really more to them than that.

It's hard to get him to talk. I can ask him any factual question and he always knows the answer. He can tell me all kinds of information: names and places, events and dates and nearly anything I could possibly imagine. But what I really want to know is how he feels.

Is he happy? Not just passing moments of pleasure that shine brightly for awhile then burn out, but real joy that comes from within?

Does he still have dreams? We all have them when we start out on this journey...but what is his passion now, as we settle into the middle-age years and his younger aspirations have matured?

And above all, does he still love me? In the hectic days of raising children, jobs and bills it's easy to take the things that seem set for granted. Is he glad he married me, or does he look back longingly at his bachelorhood days when he had his own bathroom and time for things of his choosing?

Perhaps I will never know what he's thinking or where he goes when his mind drifts away to another place. It is a chasm that I want to cross because with sharing comes closeness and connection. Realistically, I may never have admittance to the entryway that leads there, but I will never stop dreaming of that pathway nor of a conversation that is big enough for two.


Chad Oneil said...

Very candid post, Laurel. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Us guys are pretty simple ;)

...You can add me to your side bar, I appreciate it!

Mike said...

As you know. Its not always just men that have this issue. I share what you wish you had also.

Sometimes I feel weird that I am guy that wishes he could share his feelings with someone that seems to like feelings. Most guys I hang out with are uncomfortable with sharing emotion, so I dont really go there much :-)

I have come to accept that I will always be this way. Its just how I am.

Keep being yourself and keep the door open for your husband....there might ( maybe) be a day where he surprises you.

Thanks for letting me know that there are people out there that dont mind a guy with feelings! :-)

alan said...

My wife wishes I were more like your lucky husband; I in turn ponder the same things you do!

Funny how life works!


John said...

Not that I'm an expert on what all guys think, in fact I'm not even an expert on what THIS guy thinks, but most of us males are not very well-versed on emotions and the like. It's not that we aren't emotional beings, it's a matter of getting those emotions into verbal formations that's the difficult part. Not only that, but knowing that your wife is probably head and shoulders above you in those skills can be slightly intimidating.

That's my two cents worth. Awfully wordy for nonverbal type huh? :)

martie said...

Do you remember when I thought this same thing right after my husband's heart attack almost two years ago? He did open up with his feelings....
but you know what, I couldn't understand why he felt the way he did! So I'm back to square one.....;)

Chad Oneil said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the Python image ;)

1 Crazy Bride-to-Be said...

Hi! I enjoy reading your blogs! You are a wonderful person!