Thursday, July 28, 2005
I'm not good with change. I want things to remain the same, to know what to expect, to chart my course for familiar territory. It's hard going back to the beloved farm of my childhood where the only landmarks I recognize are cedar trees completely out of proportion with my memory. My children's first school is no longer the small, loving place where I held little hands and snapped photographs of first days but has become, instead, an overgrown brick impersonation of what used to be. Quaint country roads have turned into freeways, and my face and body belie the youth that is inside of me.
Last night as I was out walking, I watched as the sun started to set. It began a simple path in its descent but as I watched, it changed with every minute, turning from an orange glow into a beautiful display from both sides of the colorwheel. I was amazed how the sky transformed in steps, each lovelier than the last. And I realized that sometimes, change is good. As much as I enjoyed my children when they were little, they have become intelligent, interesting young people who are wonderful company, keeping me active and focused. New roads can get me to my destination faster.....new technology brings new learning. Though no lines of age found my face in youth, I've gained wisdom and grace through their presence. Life is a cycle, a circle; a constant series of changes that have to take place so we can learn and grow and become.
I'm still not always comfortable with change but I know it is necessary. And sometimes, it is even beautiful.